My new Canadian friend asked me the question. “So, why Guelph?"
I sputtered. All I had to say was “Because Canada."
She sighed. She nodded. And that was the whole conversation.
There are a lot of reasons why I'm moving out of my country, and nobody has asked me to explain because everybody knows why. When I let people know I'm moving to Canada, their shoulders drop a little and they stare at the ground and mutter a sigh... they know. Absolutely no one has been surprised, or worried, or confused. Some of them have even grabbed my shoulder, looked me in the eyes, and said “I might need you later." It's only mostly a joke.
But here I go saying it anyway. I need a record of my thoughts so I can return to it later. In my last few weeks before this big move, I've been sorting through a lot of old photos, looking up old friends on social media, reading old posts. It solidifies my identity in preparation for a dive into a new community. So here's a letter to myself a year or two from now, when I'll look back, if I look back.
Dear Future Grace,
Our country makes unjust laws that target me and the people I love.
The people making these laws are in a tight spot - I empathize. They have to either cater to the Trump Cult and pontificate about culture wars or they will outright lose any foothold they have in the race for power. The Tim Scotts and Nikki Haleys of this world have to outright ignore the reality they know that they are in, have to say things that they don't believe, like racism isn't a problem and trans people threaten women more than abortion bans, because they have hope that their party can some day steer towards the center. They hope that, if they gain any power at all, they'll have a voice, and their voice will whisper some reality back into their party. I sure hope it can. I'd like to believe that smart people can nudge the whole GOP back to sanity over time. But I'm hedging my bets and getting out before their tactics fail, or take too long, and we drown in fascist ideology. The laws they have made, the laws they continue to fail to make, the laws they say they want to make, these choices are life-threatening. To women. To LGBTQ+ people. To immigrants. To Black people. To children.
And I think there are Americans who feel this way about democrats. I think they truly believe that if the democrats gain or remain in power, they'll take away their livelihoods, or make the world unsafe for their children, or erase their religion, or twist their identities into the villains of the world. I don't think the citizens are the villains. I think most of us want better gun laws. I think most of us want women to decide what happens to their bodies. I don't think any of us want to live in a world where the heat will kill us and the schools are broken. But I don't see any of this getting better any time soon.
I'd like to get out before I feel like I absolutely have to. I've had a leisurely few months to wait for a visa to be approved, to put my belongings in organized boxes, to plan. There is a non-zero chance that, in the near future, the people I love won't have the luxury of time, and will need to get out fast. It sounds insane and alarmist. But when we say the quiet parts out loud to each other, we realize that we've all been thinking it - and it feels a little less insane.
I'm just trying something else. I'll let you know how it goes.