This is what your Milwaukee family has taught you:
Go to the party.
Even if you think that open invitation isn't really for me.
Even if you think but I haven't seen them in years, they don't really expect me to be there.
Even if you think but they won't even really have time to talk to me.
Even if you think but I'm not really in the mood to be ON and EXTRA SOCIAL.
Even if you think but I don't really know too many people there.
You just spent 4 hours in a park surrounded in people who were there because you asked out loud. Who you haven't seen in years. Who didn't all know each other. You didn't really have time to have an in-depth conversation with everyone. At at one point, you sat down in the grass with a dog and said “I've just done a lot of people-ing today" and everyone laughed and totally understood what you meant and let you sit quietly for a minute. They get you. They get you in ways you didn't know was possible. They get you without knowing everything about you.
Yes, the fact that you only had a few minutes with each one was overwhelming and sad and you needed a big nap afterwards.
But people were there who have known you since you were a kid. And people were there who met you in college. And one person was there who met you when you were SIX years old. And one person was there who you met only a few months ago. And all together, this community carries all the pieces that make up who you are. You are the sum of many memories and stories and good feelings. You are not a point in time, you are not a dot on a graph, your whole identity is merely an intersection of many lines. Even when they're a little wrong about you, they're right. And the kindnesses you have collected and cultivated, when they all point towards you all at the same time, buoy you. If you let them.
Yes, it is overwhelming.
It is so overwhelming.
It is hard to let people be kind to you.
Unpack the reasons for that later.
Some times, you can just let yourself float atop the kindness. Even when it feels like it will break your heart.
They're there when you need them.
They're there even when you don't need them and just like them.
They're there as a reaction to you, the person you are, or the person you try to be.
They've been there for years. They're not going anywhere. (Even when they go away.)
You already know all the best people.